This one will hurt me more than it will hurt you.

OK – I would like to start by saying to those few people that know this "forehead fear" I have; this one is for you!

The other night, Shane and I were downstairs watching our Friends season one DVD (we are trying to get through all 10 but that is another post). He brought down my laptop to show me this site he found where you can upload a photo of yourself and it runs a "face recognition" software and it pops up 4-7 celebrities that you look like. I of course would be interested in this because I have people that tell me certain people I resemble but I also have celebrities I fear that I may look like. I don't mean that to be rude but be honest, we all have people we would rather not look like! And for myself, I know what I see in the mirror doesn't seem to match what my husband sees. So let's put this site to the test. Shane is so excited, he downloads a picture of mine and we start the process. I can tell he thinks this is going to give me a boost to my recent "I feel so frumpy" mood. What a sweet guy…until he unleashes my worst nightmare onto me.

Who should pop up first – with the highest percentage of likeness – but my worst celebrity enemy! Forehead Ricci! Christina Ricci! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Again, this is nothing to do with her acting chops – this has everything to do with her abnormally huge forehead and my fear I look just like her! Some reading this can attest to the evening I measured her forehead in a magazine and then her face and then did my own forehead and face to see if the ratio was the same! I get a little OCD about things.


As soon as her face popped up as my main match two things happened.

1. Shane burst out into uncontrolable laughter. Knowing my fear of being "Forehead" all these years and the irony it was.

2. Alli burst out into a ridiculous crying mess! I am humiliated to admit it now – but it happened – for a good few minutes I carried on.

So Shane jumped into action (after he controlled his laughter and realized his wife was a nut job) He started downloading other photos of me to try it again. Lucky me – the results to the other photos never showed Forehead Ricci again. This helped, although I will say I am not convinced just yet. But I am happy to report in the next three photos we used (that's right, I had to be sure) – my top three people that came up each time were:

1. Rachel Weisz


2. Catherine Zeta-Jones


3. Halle Berry


Now I know I am not a Hollywood beauty like the three above. But I must say, I felt so much better not seeing "you know who" pop up again – ever! So to all my friends that were with me the horrible night of the forehead measuring – go ahead and laugh now. Get it out of the way! Know I have been deeply wounded by this "fun little site". Be gentle – I am in a pathetic, fragile state.


4 Responses to “This one will hurt me more than it will hurt you.”

  1. I still can’t help but laugh…the irony of the evening was undeniable. But the truth is that you look NOTHING like her. You are a HOTTIE!

  2. OH MY GOSH!!!! That is the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life!!!!! I am laughing out loud here at work and also crying with real tears because you so wonderfully wrote about the whole experience. Having been part of that “measuring” episode, I’m not quite sure what to say. (taking a deep breath, taking another deep breath so I can gather my words, since you know I’m not good with words!)

    Okay, now I’m ready with more words. You don’t look anything like her. I completely agree with Shane’s response. I’m so glad you were able to put other pictures choices in and they didn’t bring her up again.

    My dear, I hope you can move past this awful experience and eventually come to the realization that you are beautiful just like you are. Love love.

  3. i’d say of the four you look most like Rachel Weisz. However, you are much, much, much better looking than her.

    if the software was run with my picture i’d be a cross of Robert Redford and Don Knotts, (according to June).

  4. Rich Allen Says:

    this is the funniest blog post I have read so far. I love the forehead angst. hilarious

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